‘Twas the night before the transfer window opened and all through the liga
not a creature was stirring, especially Mark who we haven’t heard from in months.
The players released were hung out to dry with absolutely no care whatsoever,
with no hope of ever playing big time fantasy football again in their lives.
The owner/managers were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of the next Messi danced in their heads.
And Zizou in his ‘kerchief and Santiger Dave in his cap,
had just settled their brains for the clusterfuck that is the first minute of bidding when the window opens.
When out in the transfer lists arose such a clatter,
James rose from his bed wondering why nobody wanted his worthless players.
Away to the Complete roster thread we all flew like a flash,
to make sure the pre-pubescent inside forward we wanted wasn’t already in the liga.
The moon on the breast of new fallen transfermarkt.com fallen player values
Gave the lustre of mid-day epithets directed at the fuckers who made us drop shite players.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Some obscure French teenager that Evilo bid on because none of us have heard of the little bastard.
With a little old Xavi4Life, so lively and quick,
bid on another South American kid that he’s gonna release after next season.
More rapid than eagles, Zizou swooped in and fixed bids made by four managers for the same player.
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them … well nasty things that I can’t repeat here.
Now, Curtinho! now, Mark! now, Santiger Dave and Luigi!
Why can’t you guys be bothered to send in line-ups?!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Is that where you are because you’re not bidding on any players?
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
We are all still wondering what the fuck happened to Mark.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of over-rated English teenagers who play for the u-17’s.
And then, in a twinkling, Zizou heard on the roof
because he’s baked as fuck.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
I noticed it was 1145am pacific time and I forgot that the transfer window was opening today.
He was dressed all in fur, because he’s still baked as fuck.
And his clothes were all tarnished with bong water.
A bundle of players he had released yesterday
And he looked like a pedler who was gonna fleece you for your best young players.
that’s as far as I got. it’s a long fucking poem.
